Hades Pulido is a senior figuring things out like any other high school student.  Along with dealing with school, they are also dealing with coming out and being comfortable with who they are.  

Pulido grew up with femininity being pushed on her by their mother.  He always had felt masculine, but was never able to express that feeling until later on.  Since their mother wanted a girly daughter, she made Pulido do all sorts of girly things, like putting on makeup and wearing dresses. 

“I hated femininity,” explained Pulido.  

Pulido first started to question their sexuality and gender in seventh grade. Pulido then spent eighth and ninth grade exploring if they were gender fluid or nonbinary.  This is when they decided to go by the name Alex. 

When sophomore year came around, they realized that they wanted to use He/They pronouns.  It felt good for them to be using these pronouns because they also got to explore their masculinity during this.

During quarantine, it gave Pulido more time to reflect on their own gender identity and who they are as a person.  They recognized that they were trans/masc. and they felt comfortable using He/They pronouns.  

In terms of coming out, Pulido didn’t have a struggle in doing so.  Most of their friends just happened to be part of LGBTQ+ community  or were exploring their gender themselves.  They were completely understanding and some were going through the same predicament that Pulido was going through.  

If anyone did have a problem with what Pulido identified as, they explain that they would drop them because “I could not afford that negativity in my life.”  

Before coming out at trans, Pulido thought they were “cisgender.” They then struggled with their sexuality thinking they were “bisexual,” then lesbian. 

“Hey, I’m just not going to label myself, I’m just going to go by queer,” which felt more comfortable to Pulido.   

When first coming out as trans, Pulido reached out to their friends that identified as trans themselves because they knew they would understand and be able to help them. 

“They wouldn’t understand that feeling of having the completely wrong body,” said Pulido.

During junior year, they endured a lot of misgendering and the usage of their dead name because they did not think there was any use of coming out to their teachers, especially since everything was online.  

Over the summer, Pulido was still identifying the same, the only thing that changed was their name, which they decided to go by Hades.  

“I have stopped caring if people know or not,” said Pulido.

In the beginning of their senior year, Pulido had come out to teachers they knew they could trust.  The teachers were all very supportive and respective of their new name and pronouns.  Unfortunately, some of Pulido’s teachers still use their dead name and wrong pronouns, but they see no reason in coming out to those teachers because they don’t know how they will react.  

Since Pulido still deals with misgendering in school and the use of their dead name, they have to take moments to themselves, reminding them that it will all be worth it.  During school, he buries a lot of their emotions down because of how uncomfortable they feel when misgendered, but don’t want to speak aloud. 

Within the family, he has come out to their brother and dad.  Their brother is accepting, but still gets confused sometimes on using the right name and pronouns.  Pulido’s dad still thinks that they are confused about it all.   

Pulido deals with all this emotion by balling up or ranting, taking a moment to reflect that they are trans, and they will have to deal with people getting things wrong.  They see this as part of their identity because it’s part of the journey in becoming who they are.  

Pulido plans on starting testosterone when they turn 18, move away to university, or once they generally move out.  Starting testosterone will allow Pulido to be their true masculine self, transforming into a man.  They mostly plan on starting testosterone when moved out because they don’t want to end up arguing with their dad about transitioning.  When they do move out, they plan on moving in with other trans friends, so they can all have a support system within each other.  

As they are not transitioned yet, they do small things to make them feel more comfortable in their body.  Pulido dresses more masculine, bind their chest down, and cut their hair shorter.  

“I don’t know what the future might hold,” said Pulido.

However, they looks forward to being more masculine, starting testosterone, perhaps getting bottom surgery, just taking steps to become their true self.  

“Only come out if you’re safe,” Pulido concluded. 

 There is never a perfect moment in coming out but the main concern in coming out is to be safe and to know that you are loved.